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Love Me, Don't Leave Me: Overcoming Fear of Abandonment and Building Lasting, Loving Relationships Format Kindle
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The structure of this book makes it very helpful to work through your wounds. The self-assessment test were very helpful in identifying my own particular fear issue. Furthermore, providing the behavior triggers and behavioral reactions to my particular fear trigger was extremely helpful. Although I am already familiar with much of the information in the remainder of the book, it still helped bring clarity to dealing my own emotional wound in a more healthy manner.
This book is filled with lots of practical exercises with examples to walk you through the healing process. In fact, as a whole, these exercises are more practically helpful than any other book I have read on overcoming trauma (not the only great book though: Rewire Your Brain, Daring to Trust, Learned Optimism, Willpower Instinct and Charisma Myth were also great. Each touch on key principles addressed in this particular book). The chapter on communication covered a variety of important topics, but also done in a succinct manner that makes it easy to incorporate as I open myself for Building Lasting, Loving Relationships.
If you are new to the overcoming the fears and wounds of the past, this is a great book to start.
If you are like me and have been working through your wounds for some time, then this book very well may bring a simplified clarity to the whole process. I can actually live the advice in this book in my life presently. I don't have to spend months trying to get a grasp of my wound. I can now live the life I am working towards. I personally got what I needed from this book, even with the needed exercises, within one day. I am glad I bought it and highly recommend it.
The book walks readers through a process that allows them to figure out what's getting in the way of their relationships. Then Dr. Skeen explains how to move forward. This requires "mindfulness" - making sure that you're experiencing the current moment, not what happened to you in the past.
Dr. Skeen also explains how to step back, observe your fears, and let them happen. But she cautions not to let your fears paralyze you or push you into acting in destructive ways. Most importantly, she shows readers how to change their behaviors. "What Do I Say?" is one of my favorite chapters because it’s all about communication skills, including self-disclosure, listening, expressing your needs, validation, and apologizing. We all know that effective communication is important for building good relationships, but it’s often stifled by fear. Dr. Skeen's insights are very powerful. Whether you recognize these fears in yourself or in your partner, this is a terrific book.
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