Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers (Anglais) Relié – 11 février 2004
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Description du produit
Revue de presse
"Every page of this book is filled with something you or one of your friends do every day...A simple, quick guide to presenting ourselves as the strong and bold women we are." --Gail Evans, author of She Wins, You Win and Play Like a Man, Win Like a Woman --Ce texte fait référence à l'édition Broché .
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Le livre commence par une évaluation suivant différents axes de notre comportement au travail. Cette première partie permet alors de diriger le lecteur vers la ou les sections qui l'intéressent le plus, en terme de modification de comportement dans le monde professionnel. Ces différentes parties foisonnent d'exemples et de cas vécus et permettent de mettre en place au cours de semaines et de mois une nouvelle approche du travail étape par étape (apprendre à dire non, affirmer et non questionner, respecter et faire respecter ses horaires, etc.).
Bref, un must absolu !
That's exactly what this book is about. It will show you very accurately what are the behaviors specific to women that they do and that explain why they don't succeed. This book literally liberated me from the thought that I would never reach my goal because I am dominated by men. No, most of the time, as the author explains, it is a problem of communication, presentation, visibility etc. Those are problems that you can fix, those are behaviors that you can absolutely change, and believing that you are dominated will only make you accept this state. But if you apply what she advises in this book, you will see that most of the things you need to succeed, you can do, and it is absolutely not dependent on your gender. Confidence is confidence, courage is courage, good communication is good communication whether you are a woman or a man. This book in essence, made me realize what it means to be a real woman. A real woman is a woman who is in charge of her own life, if there is a problem she fixes it but she doesn't obey to whatever is dictated to her. The author really points out the differences between being a "girl" and being a "woman", and she shows you what makes a real woman.
The chapters are very short and straight to the point. The book is very well organized. Each mistake she describes is indeed really something that I caught myself doing without thinking one second it was not good for my career. I am very careful with the books I pick especially when it is directed to a female audience because I don't want to read any more "we live in a society of men, see how we are desperate" (without any attached solutions), and I don't want either to read a discourse that dumbs things down telling me "to dare", "to find confidence in myself, love and trust myself" because I am not a baby. Finally, I also didn't want to read about little anecdotes from privileged executive women like in "Lean in", because it's just that, anecdotes, not actionable advice. Not to mention I suspected "Lean in" was exactly the kind of book pointing out "there are not enough women in that field, bla, bla, bla, I know better because I am chief of something bla bla bla". No, this book doesn't contain all of that. The author really speaks to you as an adult, and sometimes she is even harsh but I am so glad that she is a woman because it would be too difficult to hear those truths from a man. She still says that the workplace is often male-dominated but she doesn't guilt you, she gives you solutions. I trusted this book because the author has an extensive coaching experience with men and women, so she really knows what she is writing about. This book is for any woman who wants to reach a professional goal, not just for ceos and such.
What I really learned from this book is that competence only accounts for 7% of your success at work, the rest is really just about visibility, self-marketing, communication, things that are really possible to get better at. In my field, with all the finger pointing press, I constantly had the idea that women didn't succeed because they were not enough competent, and every time a woman does a tiny little thing that shows she has competence, she is either celebrating her "exploit" or she is pointed at as "see, women can do it too, yeah!". So I kept focusing on increasing my competence and I really only focused on that. Now that I know that competence is not everything I will focus on improving in the other areas where paradoxically women are actually naturally good at, like getting visible, presenting well, etc. I have already started a little bit on what I want to improve, and the results are not yet effective but I already feel that there is change because even myself I feel more confident, my peers listen to me bit more, and I don't constantly hide behind the sexism banner. As the author says, you need to focus on one thing you really want to change, for example, "state your opinion first", and the rest will slowly follow, you will gain more confidence and slowly by slowly you will gain credibility with your peers.
This book is a book I recommend to all the women in my situation, who have dreams and goals, but who somehow feel it is too difficult to reach because they are women. This is 2015 and I am nearly 30, but this book still makes sense now and still really helps in a concrete way. I am immensely grateful to the author because she really opened my eyes and she relieved me from the feminist craziness I was brainwashed with. In the book you should take the advice that helps you reach your goal. As the book was written ten years ago, sometimes you feel that times have changed and that for example being feminine in the workplace is not so much an issue. So just take what works for you. And be always active in finding a solution to your problem instead of using excuses.
Commentaires client les plus utiles sur Amazon.com
I was a CEO of a Nasdaq listed company . Before that I was also one of the youngest VPs in a large bank. Most of the negative reviewers hate this book because Ms.Frankel advocates that :
a) women should not 'appear' too feminine( i.e bringing food to the office often, have cutesy things in the cubicle, actively needing to be liked by co-workers)
b) we should dress, style their hair and wear makeup appropriately
c) she often tell women to not 'be nice' . ( this could mean doing the photocopying, going out of your way to help others, not saying yes etc)
I hate to burst some women's bubbles but like it or not , your chances of being taken seriously/become promoted or being seen as a leader IS influenced by how you talk/dress and carry yourself.
Imagine 2 young associates in an elevator with the CEO. Both are equally capable but one has long Victoria Secret's model hair ( it seems she spends a long time styling it everyday), a short above-the-knee skirt and uses that lilting Valley-speak accent where every sentence seems like a question. The other has shoulder-length stylish yet low-maintenance hair, a smartly-tailored suit with below-the-knee skirt and speaks in even, clear tones.
Which person would the CEO tend to think favorably of?
No one is saying you won't get ahead if you be yourself. But will it be harder? Make it easier and be the most professional version of yourself. I love doing my hair, makeup and wearing jewelry/high heels but I always make sure it's work appropriate and non-distracting. That's why I wear 3 inch heels for work and save my 5 inch platform stilettos for date night.
As for 'don't be nice ' I think what Ms.Frankel means is 'don't be a doormat' and you can say 'NO' without guilt. I'm a nice person and I treat people with respect. But there are co-workers who ask you out during lunch (when you really want to get some work done) or ask you to help with a group project that the company doesn't care about. I liked my co-workers but I learned to say no. And from my own observation its mostly women who feel guilty about saying no. Or, are resented by other female coworkers for saying 'No' .
Also please note that nowhere in the book does it say 'act like a man' or put style before substance. One reviewer says that a co-worker who 'spoke in a a clear, deliberate manner' just seemed false, and did not know what she is talking about. Well then the main problem was she did not know what she was talking about.
The whole message of the book is to do your work/job as best as you can, and use the power of perception to stand out favorably.
Dr. Frankel was very forthright and honest in her writing and assessments. It was a breath of fresh air to read this book. There isn't much in the book that many seasoned professionals may not already be aware of. However, it gives a name to concepts and situations, and adds context and perspective. I have two copies, one is a loner. I revisit this book often as a reminder and a personal reassessment to ensure I am staying true and consistent with my goals.
UPDATED OCTOBER 29, 2013
This is still a great book. I have since met many of my professional goals and set some new ones. I enjoy and am grateful for being able to revisit this book.
I'm recommending it to all my friends.
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