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Chapter 3
Orgasm Versus Orgasmic

The nature of female orgasm is not easily generalized--quite possibly there are as many kinds of orgasm as there are women having them. Even so, in order to understand the nature of feminine energy it is helpful to look at orgasm from a number of angles.

Orgasm can be loosely divided into two categories--peak orgasm or valley orgasm. Naturally there can be a whole range of experiences between a peak and a valley, but what distinguishes one type from the other is the very basis of each type--the peak orgasm depends on an active building up of excitement and the valley orgasm rises into excitement through a state of complete relaxation.

From the very outset the approach and attitude is different. We tend to actively seek and “go for” the peak type of orgasm, to deliberately build it up. Achieving a peak orgasm becomes a linear, goal-oriented activity requiring a mental intention to get from one place to another. We assume that we need to do whatever is necessary to keep moving toward our final destination--the peak. A valley experience is more like an invitation without an expectation or demand of orgasm. Something may or may not happen. The final outcome is not an issue, rather the focus is on the joy of the moment--being here and now in the body--which allows the journey to unfold without a predetermined direction. In place of pursuing an orgasm there is an openness to and acceptance of what is taking place in the body, which creates the sensitivity necessary for an orgasmic valley experience to emerge.

To arrive at a peak orgasm we must usually expend considerable physical effort. The aim is to intensify the stimulation and bring the deliciously exciting sensations into one glorious crescendo. This involves repeated mechanical movements of the pelvis, which get faster and faster toward the end. This activity is necessary in order to build energy to a peak but at the same time it also builds up a lot of tension, which compresses the energy into the genitals. In contrast, to allow a valley experience to flower we need to do everything very slowly in the most relaxed, languid, lazy way possible. We avoid deliberate doing and abandon any movements or positions producing tensions. The penetration of the vagina by the penis is deliberately slow, and so are all the pelvic movements. This relaxation between the genitals encourages a radiation and expansion of energy into other parts of the body.

The peak orgasm is usually quite a hot affair. In the valley things are a lot cooler. Any pleasurable moments of excitation can be enjoyed for what they are, but they will be followed by minutes of relaxation, not fed and inflamed into a climax as in the peak orgasm. Through slowing down into a more non-doing approach and bringing awareness to internal movements of energy, an inner sensitivity awakens which has little to do with excitement or stimulation. This sensitivity reveals in the body a layer of magnetic excitation that is cool, cellular, and ecstatic. A buildup of excitement is not even really required for a relaxed orgasmic experience.

Another way in which a peak orgasm will differ from a valley orgasm is the duration of the experience. A peak orgasm is estimated to last, on a good day, a maximum of ten seconds. So we can say a peak experience has a pretty definite start and finish. This makes it more like an event--we “have an orgasm,” or not, as the case may be. In contrast, the valley orgasm is a more sustained state, a timeless experience without a specific start or finish. It can be five seconds or five hours, the time span is irrelevant--the experience the same. In a valley orgasm, an ecstatic peace descends upon us, surrounds us, embraces us, we are suspended in it--we “become orgasmic.” It is an expanded state of consciousness--not a momentary event recordable in seconds.

Relaxation lies at the very base of any enhancement of experience, so relaxation and more satisfying orgasm go hand in hand. All orgasms, conventional peak orgasms and otherwise, are enhanced by relaxation. Any relaxation of any body part (even if only briefly) invites the expansion of energy on which all orgasm and heightened experiences are based. Relaxation spontaneously leads to more inner awareness, increased bodily sensitivity, and more psychological openness. And relaxation automatically gives rise to qualities that are essential to feminine energy. Especially for woman, relaxation is essential because it moves her away from the active outward male kind of expression, which is required for conventional orgasm, and puts her unquestionably into the receptive feminine mode.

Often the effort expended in attempting to create orgasm blocks the very sensitivity necessary for orgasm to occur. In our effort to “get there,” our movements become faster and harder, more and more unconscious and aggressive, decreasing our sensitivity with each move we make. In contrast, an orgasmic state, or any orgasm achieved through relaxation for that matter, engages the genuine, deep-rooted, feminine energies of a woman, which allow the orgasm to be a fully satisfying full-body experience.

Orgasm is not necessarily a huge explosion, a volcanic eruption. It can also be a cool, peaceful, calm, relaxing valley where the body floats as light as a feather, dissolving into love-drenched nothingness. It can be the experience of eternity, beyond time, suspended in space by breath, one with the pulsation of life. It also happens as if by miracle, that from this depth of relaxation a peak of energy arises, but without any effort at all. A subtle force rises slowly and steadily from the depths moving into a sexual dance, as if choreographed by a divine energy passing through the bodies.

Revue de presse

"[Richardson] presents tantric meditations and exercises designed to develop awareness, increase sensitivity, and ultimately lead to inner expansion and a profound sense of peace and fulfillment." (Kathy Heckler, New Age Retailer, Trade Show Issue 2005, Vol. 19, No. 4)

". . . a comprehensive guide for women seeking greater fulfillment in their sexual relations." (Kathy Heckler, New Age Retailer, Trade Show Issue 2005, Vol. 19, No. 4)

"This is a practical manual for lovers; the exercises are not beyond the scope of most healthy adults and there is no doubt that going through them would heighten a couple's awareness of pleasure and intimacy. . . . I would recommend this book for any couple." (Pamela Crossland, TCM Reviews, Feb 2006)

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Format: Broché
Un livre incroyable qui enseigne des secrets ouverts sur la sexualité au service de l'amour et plus particulièrement le rôle de la femme et l'importance de l'énergie féminine dans le processus d'orgasme,une dimension très peu connue dans un mode de vie basée sur l'excitation et l'exploitation,nous ouvre à une vie de relaxation,de contentement,de méditation.
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Commentaires client les plus utiles sur (beta) 4.6 étoiles sur 5 43 commentaires
5.0 étoiles sur 5 I can say that this has changed our sex life and I love how in depth this book is in explaining this ... 23 novembre 2016
Par Matt - Publié sur
Format: Format Kindle Achat vérifié
A friend shared about this book and I gave it a shot! It was an interesting concept to me. Something I hadn't heard before.

I finished the book fairly quickly. 3 days about. I was a little skeptical that my husband would be open to this.

I can say that this has changed our sex life and I love how in depth this book is in explaining this concept of lovemaking. She gives examples as well and helps throughout. I felt a huge change and shift once we put these concepts to use. We feel so much more connected. This book has changed my life. :)

I wish I would have read this book before marriage! And I have also shared this with close friends.
6 internautes sur 6 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 Great book for men too! 26 mai 2013
Par Cedar Kelly - Publié sur
Format: Format Kindle Achat vérifié
This book is essential reading for all men as well as women to help us understand each other physiologically. It follows then that our relationship as sexual partners will deepen and grow instead of falling apart as happens all too frequently.
Beautifully written and profoundly insightful!
2 internautes sur 2 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 How to truly make Love to your Lover 10 juillet 2014
Par Morgan Cade - Publié sur
Format: Broché Achat vérifié
This is an amazing resource for all women and men every where who truly want to learn how to make love on every level of their being and break away from the conformity of what most people believe is involved making love. While reading this book you will intuitively know that what is being presented to you is the True way of making love on every level of your being to your lover on every level of their being!
3 internautes sur 3 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 For my wife I read this book 26 décembre 2014
Par Success is out there - Publié sur
Format: Format Kindle Achat vérifié
Now I will be more conscious of her wants, desires and needs. I will be more patient and fulfilling. All that I have learned will be utilized for her pleasure. This book helped me to see love making as a spiritual experience.
4 internautes sur 5 ont trouvé ce commentaire utile 
5.0 étoiles sur 5 This is a fantastic and easy to read book 15 octobre 2015
Par Pat Gurnick, Psychotherapist, CaringCounselor dot com - Publié sur
Format: Broché Achat vérifié
I am a psychotherapist. This is a fantastic and easy to read book. I recommend it to all my clients, male and female. It will help a man understand his beloved, and give exercises they can do for increased emotional and physical intimacy. For a woman, it will give her ways to enhance her sexual energy, creativity with her beloved, and heal sexual trauma if that is an issue. Tender, insightful, sexy, fun, and creative. I think this is well written and highly recommend this book to all. I was member of the Boulder Sexual Healers Guild (now called Sacred Sex in Colorado and out of all the books we used in our teachings, this I found to be the best!
Pat Gurnick, CLC
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