Triggers: Sparking positive change and making it last Format Kindle

This is a really good book, written by an executive coach, about changed behavior and regret.

A few concepts:

-Fate is the hand of cards we've been dealt. Choice is how we play the hand.
-Regret should be used to grow, embrace the pain and the message.
-We do not appreciate inertia's power over us.
-Meaningful behavioral change is hard.
-No one can make us change.
-Some people they want to change, but they don't.
-Achieving change is not necessarily easy but it may be easy.
-There is a difference between understanding and doing.
-We are superior planners and inferior doers.
-Change doesn't happen overnight.
-Success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out.
-If we make the effort, we will get better. If we don't, we won't

While these might sound like platitudes (and they are a little), the real wisdom is in the advice and examples.Solid advice given for implementing change and reducing regret in your life. A very good book that is potentially life-changing.

If you are good at setting goals but not that good at achieving them, then this is a must read. If you are a coach/mentor/leader that works with people to help them become a better version of themselves, then you will gain valuable insights from this book. You will learn valuable insights into what works and what doesn’t when it comes to changing human behavior.

It is okay to be skeptical about such bold claims. But consider the accomplishments of the author, Marshall Goldsmith. He is one of the most respected coaches in the world. Mr. Goldsmith works with the elite leaders in industry and government. One simple fact about the way he conducts his business should give you sufficient reason to trust everything he says about changing human behavior. His minimum time frame for working with clients is eighteen months. And he collects his fee at the end of the period. No results, no fee. That is a powerful testimony to his effectiveness.

While the title suggest that the book will be mostly about what triggers behavior, that is actually a rather small part of the points covered in this book. There are several very significant observations which will help the reader make changes that will last.

One insight is – “We are superior planners and inferior doers”. We make plans, set goals and fail to achieve them. If we hope to achieve the plans we make, we need structure. “We do not get better without structure.”

One of the key concepts of the book is that we should ask ourselves active questions on a daily basis. And, we need to track the answers. The active questions can start with “Did I try my best today to ____________________”. This introduced a concept that effort is more important than results. We can control our effort. Often there are factors beyond our control which influence the results. Most people will need a coach/mentor to hold them accountable to answering the questions and searching for reasons why the person is not giving their best efforts.

There are many other vital topics covered in the book. One of course is triggers – “Our inner beliefs trigger failure before it happens.” Another is the wheel of change – Creating – what we want in the future; Preserving the positive elements we want in the future; Eliminating the negative elements we do not want in the future and Accepting the negative elements we need to accept in the future.

There are some powerful one liners in the book – “We want short-term gratification while we need long-term benefit.

According to Mr. Goldsmith the purpose of the book is twofold. One is to create awareness – being awake/aware of what is going on around us. The second is to foster engagement so that we are actively participating in life.

If you are serious about changing your own behavior or truly helping others, then you will find a wealth of information in this book. But as Mr. Goldsmith points out the information is not worth much unless we become better doers. He gives the tools necessary for being a better doer. The work is up to you and your coach.

Advertising pays: I need to give a shout-out to Jim Kouzes for his posting the cover of Triggers on Facebook. Within thirty minutes of that post, I had ordered my copy!

This book deserves a mark that exceeds five stars. This book informed, it educated, it impressed, it entertained, and it induced action. I am in the fourth week of assessing my progress toward six personal, behavioral goals (patience, under-controlling of situations, less judgmental/evaluative, more lovingly supportive of my wife, more at peace, and in less of a hurry). I use the charting process suggested by Marshall, and I have created a weekly scoring sheet on which my wife is to give me grade my progress.

Readers might not be impressed with this process, but this is the first time that I have consciously and systematically worked toward important personal/interpersonal goal-improvement. As a licensed user of the MBTI, I have known since 1984 that I have needed to work on some of my ENFJ-behaviors that did not serve me well at times. Marshall’s coaching-in-the-book, his powerful examples of behavior change shared, and the usable resources all combine to compel a reader to take action and make personal progress, so that we might be more effective human beings.

After four weeks, this writer is a more peaceful, patient person from the beginning of each day. My wife and I are having more fun. My urge to “drive the bus” all the time has been significantly reduced, and I am in less of a hurry. Marshall’s focus on progress, I think has been key: “Did I do my best to . . .?” Over time, the focus has become a habit, like a good health habit! And, why not?! Yes, I’ll regress on a variable, and I’ll “own it” and simply choose to get back on the horse the next day and go forward.

Marshall gets it: He realizes that he cannot be effective unless his clients are! He is exemplary in this regard, and he relentlessly and proactively journeys toward being a better leader/coach.

Marshall also models brilliantly, a client-centered/collaborative coaching style as he works with others. He asks the necessary and provocative questions that others need to face if they are to be more effective going forward.

There was just one chapter that fell just a tiny bit short, for me personally. Chapter 16, “Behaving Under the Influence of Depletion”, deals with our behaviors and the outcomes of decisions made when our physical/mental/emotional energy is low. In addition to Marshall’s suggestions in this chapter, the reader might benefit from three topics that might help them and others be more personally effective: personality (introverts), mood theory, and general wellness. Introverts need to give extra time for reflection and self-care before entering their after-hours dwellings and interacting with others, even their pets. Introvert Power by Laurie Helgoe is just one book that offers practical suggestions for helping introverts be more personally/interpersonally effective. Helgoe specifically offers proactive ideas for helping deal with the current culture of interruption in our daily lives. For mood theory, The Origin of Everyday Moods by Robert Thayer provides resources and research that can make us aware on an hourly basis whether we are “tired” or “energized”. From that point, we can then determine what our next courses of action need to be to be for greater effectiveness going forward. For example, “extreme” extroverts who are tense-tired near the end of a workday are apt to say or do things that would likely not happen when filled with calm-energy. For overall wellness, Candace Pert’s book, Everything You Need to Feel Good, offers an insightful look at her personal journey regarding the successful resolution of health issues, the latest mind/body-research, and good recommendations regarding websites and authors whose contributions might be beneficial.

In Triggers, Marshall Goldsmith did everything possible to make real and positive behavioral differences for his readers. He certainly made differences that I think will be both positive and lasting for me and for those with whom I interact. Thank you, sir!

This book has some good ideas and tools, but it lacks focus and feels forced. My impression is that Goldsmith wanted to put out another book but didn't have a way to fit his ideas together, so this reads like a series of independent--or perhaps loosely related--ideas with no central organizing structure. There is lots here that isn't exactly relevant to behavior change, he goes off on tangents to fill space, and the end sputters out like a runner trying desperately to reach the finish line (in this case, enough material for a book.. While I definitely took away some interesting and potentially helpful information, it read more like someone just wanted to have product for his seminars and workshops (which he freely admits is his passion and primary interest). Very self-congratulatory and promotional.

I've made it to the point, after 20 plus years in the same retail business, of co-owning a company. As a person prone to dark moments and fearless angry outbursts I later regret, I have been a longtime seeker of anything that can help me better handle interactions with the people in my life, family, co-workers, employees, customers, etc. I remember, years ago thinking, if I could just gain space between the thing that pushed my buttons and my reaction I would be better off. I would cause less pain to others, I would not be so tortured with regret. This book not only spells out the patterns of trigger/behavior but literally gives you the map of how to rewire the patterns. How to open the space and choose behavior rather than drop into automatic reaction. So grateful to have found this book. Will read it until it is absolutely ingrained in my being, until it is my nature. Can't wait!